Post TechEd Stress Disorder

So I have been back from TechEd 2005 for a couple of weeks now and seem to be suffering from Post TechEd Stress Disorder. This disorder is identified as the ennui and loss that one feels after the excitement and activity abruptly ends at the end of a particularly funfilled conference. Especially when a large amount of money was spent to accomplish nothing more than a good time.

You would think it was no big deal, a relaxing vacation in Orlando, surrounded by friends, things to do, people to see....

But no. For some reason, it has taken me weeks to really get back into the swing of things here. I've travelled extensively before. Training for several weeks at a time, spending four days a week on the road, I've even been to other conferences. Never have I had such a hard time getting it together.

Why?

I have no idea really. Maybe because I didn't expect to have so much fun? Maybe because for months, even years really, I have built up expectations of how it would go, what I would do, what would come of it, that when I got home I expected something to change. Something. Anything.

And yet, silence. Yeah, I've gotten to know people (in person as it were) that I only knew from the newsboards. Yeah, I now recognize the punchlines of several inside jokes. But otherwise, no additional leads, no useful contacts.

The point is, I had hoped for something I hadn't even put a name to. In the past, each conference I went to, each event I paid for, has turned into a job or opportunity. Then, this year, I busted my butt for several months to carry a track at a conference. Finally reaching the pinnacle of success, able to check another thing off my dream to do list, I was a presenter at a technical conference. Heck, not just a presenter, I carried a track.

You would think someone might be impressed by that. That the attendees might give me a callback, seeing as they seemed so goshdarned impressed. But nuthin. They were not obligated and too much of the event (other than my part) was in shambles. When they got home, the overall affect of the conference left too much of a bad taste to allow me to be remembered fondly enough to trust with their business. Note: All conferences are not created equal. Be careful which you associate with, as they can actually hurt your rep, rather than help it.

Then, TechEd came. I was already down from the waste of time and effort that the previous conference netted me, so I wasn't too surprised when nothing really came of TechEd either.

You see, the TechEd conference is about the networking for the long game. Not for immediate gratification. Unfortunately, a person could starve to death waiting for the long game to finish, for the prizes to be presented.

So here I sit. Having come home to the silence and inactivity I left. A vacuum of ennui, entropy, and boredom. It has taken me weeks to get used to the idle, silent hours after only a week of activity and excitement. I obviously was not cut out for silence.

So then, somehow I must figure out how to bring on the funk, bring on the noise. Not easy I know, but otherwise I will just sink into this housewife life of emptiness and disappear.