Arrghh, why am I so lazy?

So here I sit
writing in my blog
when I have work to do.

Real work
that means something
that others are waiting for.
And instead
I watch TV
Make a cup of tea,
maybe do some laundry.

What is wrong with me?
As deadlines loom,
when I should be getting alarmed
I can't even come up with the energy
to be concerned.
I dream about it
But I can't seem to move.

I hate procrastinating.
I hate the sense of being out of control
out of time
of having to explain or make excuses
yet still, I do it.
Why?

Things I must do--
Work on material that I will be doing in front of hundreds of people in Las Vegas in November
(but the presentations are due mid-Oct).
Re-write/update a 50 page chapter about Vista for this guy, David Pogue, by next week.
Keep up with material required to do Technical Review of MS MOC courseware on Sharepoint Services 3.0 (including remember how to log into the outsourcing company's web site).
Keep up with material that will be necessary for the 800 page book I will probably have to write starting when I get back from Las Vegas.
Clean the house and finish research, scheduling duct sanitizing so we can turn on the heat when it gets cold a few weeks from now.
Force the frickin' car dealership's general manager to remember that he promised to fix the brakes on my car.

Instead, I am here
idly posting.
Argh.
I think I really, really want to fail.
I just want to be told that I have lost this race,
that I played this game so poorly
that I might as well stop now
and maybe start over later.

Meanwhile, the weather outside is gorgeous.
Incongrously lovely, while inside I am plagued by doubt and despair.
I resent not being able to just go outside. Maybe mulch my weeds.